My Hobbies Don’t Photograph Well (And I’m Okay with That)

If you’ve ever carried the load until you had nothing left, this post is for you.

Being perpetually exhausted with little left for those around you is not cute, but it’s how most of us are functioning until we burn out.

For the first time in my adult life, I feel flush with hobbies: decluttering and organizing, puzzling, crochet, video gaming and reading fiction are at the top of the list. I’ve been telling people it feels like I’m a kid again, and that feeling comes at the end of another season of burnout recovery. (May it be the last!)

I feel some shame at sharing these hobbies with you, because I don’t know many (any?) mainstream aspirational people pursuing them (drop them in the comments if you do).

Because, after all, I’m not optimizing for anything, and my hobbies don’t photograph well for Instagram. I don’t even know how many books I’ve read this year, or how many I will read. The same puzzle has sat on my dining room table for at least three months. On top of that, as a woman I am not always “allowed” to want things, and instead I’m encouraged to feel guilty for having needs.

My hobbies are ways I cope with stress – my parasympathetic nervous system gets a chance to take the stage, and I lose track of time. I like to do any of the above alongside my friends, my family or by myself.

All the data I need that these activities are awesome, really, is that each allows me to relax and recover from overwhelm – and then be present for what I need and who I love. I emerge from puzzling or a great book with a little more awe than when I went into it, and more appreciation for being alive. Kind of major, right?!

Right.

Dr. David Lewis, a neuropsychologist at Mindlab International at the University of Sussex, and colleagues found that participants who engaged in just 6 minutes of reading – whether a newspaper or a book – experienced a slowed heart rate and reduced muscle tension.

Another study found that playing a casual video game – our house is currently obsessed with Nintendo’s Pokopia – is about as effective as mindfulness meditation at reducing stress (and you don’t have to worry you’re ‘doing it wrong’ – more on that in a future post).

Not that I need the data, but the data is there.

So is this invitation:

The antidote to overwhelm is in the non-doing. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction – “non-doing has nothing to do with being indolent or passive. Quite the contrary, it takes great courage and energy to cultivate non-doing both in stillness and in activity.”

I know what you’re thinking. But, being regulated and rested isn’t selfish: it’s what makes you available to your people.

So, how about you? Do you have hobbies? Do you want to? Did you when you were a kid?