Kate offers advice on how to make someone feel special on their birthday long distance and how to pamper someone in a long distance relationship.

On this podcast episode, Kate answers questions like: What is and what isn't couples therapy? Is it normal to be in couples therapy? When should you not seek couples therapy? 

All relationships have moments where one person is annoyed or unhappy with the other person. It is important to talk through these things in a productive, non-harmful way. When I work with couples, I often see people taking all negative feedback as critical, even if it's shared in a gentle way, and becoming defensive; or people absorbing everything their partner says without discernment and then living in a constant shame spiral. Neither are helpful, but certain kinds of criticism are cruel and damage the relationship more than help.

Everybody rubs their spouse the wrong way sometimes. But often there are bigger picture rifts that can be missed in everyday spats. These aren’t disagreement so much as fundamental missteps that can eventually undermine a marriage.

Couples therapy can leave you both heated. Making a plan for dealing with it before the session can help.

If being everyone’s go-to person means your needs often take a back seat, you may want to learn more about codependency.

Positivity is wonderful, but a a die-hard commitment to “good vibes only” regardless of what’s happening is problematic. ALL emotions offer us information and if we ignore those that are negative or painful, we are missing important data that can impact our lives.

There is no one perfect way to "do" marriage, but given what they do for a living, couples therapists and relationship counselors have some good tips that everyone can benefit from. Here is the wisdom 19 therapists want to share.

No relationship is exciting every single day. It's normal to experience periods of boredom, especially after the "honeymoon phase" has ended. It is important to understand when this boredom is a sign of bigger issues and when it just a signpost to let you know the relationship needs a little attention.

Is uncertainty in a relationship always a bad sign? No necessarily, but the doubts and/or negative feelings you are having is, at a minimum, a signpost indicating the need to take a pause and reflect. Once you take a closer look and ask yourself a couple of questions, you may uncover why you aren’t feeling totally sure about your relationship.